tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2187361220163421756.post7100644766598690336..comments2023-10-04T20:09:20.449+11:00Comments on superchilled: The Man DateSuperchilledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00480825797997399121noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2187361220163421756.post-14514101818802344822007-04-30T18:27:00.000+10:002007-04-30T18:27:00.000+10:00I was wondering if anyone would bring this up. Cer...I was wondering if anyone would bring this up. Certainly the gay man meeting a gay man, especially but not exclusively when both are single, often brings a set of stresses and uncertainties as you described. But I guess where there are new people you are meeting this is certainly more the case. Despite this I have found one on one contact with my friends who are gay finds much less inhibition about any topic of conversation and so discussion is more frank, open, and subsequently more rewarding - but maybe that's just me.Superchilledhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00480825797997399121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2187361220163421756.post-13147659550839893972007-04-30T14:35:00.000+10:002007-04-30T14:35:00.000+10:00Whilst I understand all the tensions mentioned in ...Whilst I understand all the tensions mentioned in the article, I don't think that being gay necessarily means that you can escape them. I have a number of straight male friends, and I can remember when they didn't know that I was gay, the awkwardness about meeting up one on one. However, if a straight man feels vulnerable to suggestions of homosexuality, these fears are not going to be allayed on a date with an openly gay man. So, I've noticed that these days, when I do meet them, it does tend to be in group settings, usually including their partners as well. Of course, it could just be that they're more busy now with wives, babies and so on, but it certainly is much more difficult to arrange any sort of get together.<BR/><BR/>As a single gay man, meeting other gay men one on one carries it's own set of problems, particularly if the goal is to establish some sort of friendship. Oftentimes one of the parties harbours a desire that it become something more, either consciously or not. I've started out a number of such friendships, only to discover after a few meetings that the other party thought it was a slow courtship. At this point an expressed desire to just be friends is usually heard purely as rejection as it's such a popular euphemism for terminating romantic relationships.<BR/><BR/>The only truly uncomplicated friendships are those between a gay man and a straight woman, unless the gay man in question used to sleep with the straight woman before he discovered boys, but that's another story.Philiphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14201031542105834007noreply@blogger.com