baby you can drive my car, No.7

The interviews have been going on and on. But I'm okay with that. The final applicant is the only definite right hand drive guy - which would be kinda useful down-under if I want to avoid head-on collisions. He's laid back, has great arms, to control the vehicle with of course, and looks confident in the driver's seat. He can just drive. I don't care where we go.

I've decided I'm going for applicant No.1 for the working week, and No.7 here for the weekends.

Who are you going to choose? You only get one choice, though - so vote in the new poll on the top right for your preferred driver.

14 years on...

In Gay years we've been together what, 98 years? It certainly doesn't seem that long. 14 years has flown by, but looking back there's a hell of a lot we've done in that time. We've broken all kinds of new ground for ourselves and the people around us, we've bought and sold homes together and lived in a handful of others, swum probably thousands of kilometres together, many competitively. We've made friends, welcomed new family members and fare-welled others, we've taken hundreds of flights together and tied up the globe with our flight paths. We've driven a car or two into the ground. We've raised our Labrador Norten, of whom we're very proud, and now have embarked on raising a child, which will certainly keep the next 14 yrs and more as busy if not more so than the first. We've grown closer together even when we're apart. It's been one hell of a time and I'm looking forward to the next 14 and beyond.

Happy Anniversary Mr Frenchman, My Frenchman.

baby you can drive my car, No.6

I think this applicant has certainly got his finger on the pulse. He's ticked all the boxes. Some of them twice. This was a short interview, at least in terms of questions asked. I'm not sure I want to continue the search for a chauffeur any farther...

but I will.

Big thanks to Definition of a Man - where I found this applicant.

baby you can drive my car, No.5

Chauffeur, mechanic... we like the multiskilled and multitalented. This applicant is certainly on the shortlist for the job as my driver. In fact, even if he can't drive he'll still make the shortlist. I'm not shallow, no, no, no, well, perhaps. Just a little.

I'm tempted to stop here... but the applicants are lined up, and I HAVE to see them all.

It's all Greek to me

We're escaping to Greece next month and need your help.

We're there for a brief stay, but it wasn't planned in advance and we're not really sure where to go. We'll be landing in Athens and leaving from Santorini, but the rest is unchartered. Have you been to Greece? Is there anywhere you'd recommend? Suggest we avoid? Places that are MUST SEE. I need to be able to swim - but I'm guessing that won't be a problem anywhere. Any accommodation and boating recommendations are also appreciated.

Thanks guys.

Baby you can drive my car, No.4

The search for a chauffeur continues. Today's applicant looks good behind the wheel, but road safety may be an issue with that view-obstructing cap... though in this demonstration below he manages to fix that and show that he's capable of securing my surfboards (I still think the cap needs to go - the rest of the uniform is just fine though).

Is he THE applicant?

The interviews continue...

Weekend Home Holidays

Conversations of liquid gold, connections with great people refreshed, out of place summer weather, babbling youngsters who steal your heart, meals and experiences shared, escapes into the great outdoors and oceanic meanderings. It was a weekend of great things, the simple thing of life that are so enriching, rewarding, and so much fun. I'm looking forward to the real summer and more time with friends and family just being, and spending time. Doing things spontaneously and not having any particular goal or focus. I have enough tasks to manoeuvre through in my working week. The weekends are going to be mini holidays like this one was - even if I did work for a part of it.

Baby you can drive my car, No.3

Number 3 for a reason, this applicant is in fact a trio. Three chauffeurs for the price of...?

Obviously comfortable in a convertible, perhaps a little too comfortable, and as for safety consciousness, there a hell of a lot of questions, but if I wanted to go a long way I'd have a series of drivers and 24hrs of the day covered. But I'm guessing they may be seasonal workers. Oh but what a season!

The chauffeur interviews continue...

Baby you can drive my car, No.2

Now this applicant is a lot more formal, but that does leave a lot more to the imagination. Certainly gives the impression of formal elegance. He looks ready to drive and seems to be familiar with convertible sports cars which is a strong plus. Not as chilled as applicant no.1 but then I guess we haven't seen him on a hot day... I wonder how he looks, I mean drives in the rain.

Baby you can drive my car, No.1

So I'm interviewing for Chauffeurs. There are quite a few applicants, but I'm having trouble getting past the first. He certainly looks comfortable in a car, the uniform fits, he seems comfortable around the gear stick, and I do have a manual car.

Can't wait for the test drive.

Wonder who will turn up for the next interview...

Tropical Fruit

My good friend Martin, recently moved to Australia's Northern Territory has started off a new blog TROPICAL FRUIT. Worth a look by clicking above, here, or on the link which continues to be updated in my blog links on the right. I do love his writing.

Do you James take Adam to be your lawfully wedded Husband?

Are you still with [boyfriend X] ?

We've all been asked it, but I rarely hear it being asked of straight couples.

There is often an expectation of relationship splits in same sex couples. The fact that we have no formal means of being recognised doesn't encourage a sense of commitment, and I expect makes our relationships less valued. I certainly have been pissed off at weddings where my relationship has been considered inferior, even though it has outlasted many of those marriages.

And while I'm not sure about getting married personally, I'd like to be able to make that decision for myself and not have it made for me by a government or religious institution.

The Australian Greens have introduced the Marriage Equality Amendment Bill 2009 into the Australian Senate. The Bill aims to amend the definition of marriage from a “union between a man and a woman” to “a union between two persons”. This will allow all couples, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, the right to marry in Australia.

The Senate Legal and Constitutional Committee has set August 28th as the deadline for submissions for the Inquiry into the Marriage Equality Amendment Bill 2009. You can make a submission to the enquiry easily following via the Gay & Lesbian Rights Lobby webpage which goes into more detail about this here, and has an easy to fill out form here which you can link to and fill out online. Even if you don't personally have a desire for marriage, I think it is important that we have the possibility of choosing it and the recognition that our relationships are just as valid and valued as anyone else's.

The majority of the population is now in support of marriage equality, but I know there are going to be loads of religious groups making submissions opposing it. Don't let them win.

Have your say now.

Click here.

You can also vote in the superchilled marriage poll top right.

10 weeks

Young Amélie is now 10 weeks old and here she is resting on her Papa's shoulder, one of her favourite places. We've been rather busy of late with her, and it's taken a little time away from my usual posting here. But I guess priorities do change, and you do tend to get a little distracted when there is a munchkin about growing and learning and getting increasingly interactive. It's a life changing thing as they say, but it's a very natural change and quite a lot of fun. Some things become more important as other things that may have once been essential to your life just dissolves away and you wonder what significance they ever had.

I've managed to keep up with swimming, it's still quite an essential part of my life. We all go swimming together, though Amélie isn't old enough to get into the water, yet. We all take turns looking after her while the rest swim. I guess she'll get used to the smell of salt and chlorine before she knows what it is. We're counting down the days until she can get in there with us.

It's been a fun start to parenthood. We certainly don't fit the traditional model, particularly in the area where we live where the whole concept of co-parenting is exceedingly new. The local community has been incredibly supportive; there have been some funny questions and statements along the way making us aware that we are in fact breaking new ground here. The fact there are questions rather than silence, gifts of all kinds and positive encouragement from such a variety of people has made it an incredibly positive experience, more than from just a parenting perspective.

P!NK Perfection

We ventured out to one of P!NK's record breaking live concerts here in Sydney this weekend. It's an uncommon thing but The Frenchman and I have both found someone we'd turn straight for in P!nk whose concert was spectacular. Loved it to bits and would go again if I had the chance. I'd heard great reports and had seen her performing live only on TV in the past but the reality did not disappoint. There was some spectacle I really wasn't expecting and emotional hits which were right on target. Full of energy for the whole of the performance, singing upside-down spinning and still hitting the right notes. The hype was certainly up to speed. Sign me up as a definite fan. Can we do it all again please?

Dine on this.

The brief: "I want an image of a partially dressed guy tying his shoes, reclined on a table and showing the branding of underwear somewhere in the middle of it all."  

Sounds loopy on paper, but it works. At least it works for me. And here he is, thanks to the creatives at Andrew Christian mens(under)wear. And why is he here today? Because you can't always be serious, and distraction can be grand. I also like different takes on things and I don't like being limited. People taking a step outside the ordinary - whether it works or not - (and we're not just talking photography here) are the kind of courageous people we need more of.

Oh and if this is dinner, I won't need dessert.

Arrgghhh!!!

"Arrgghhh!!!" 

Everyone needs someone to talk to. It maybe to debrief on the driver who cut you off on the freeway, or share how great you feel after a great day at work and extend it to the discussion of relationships and complex emotional stresses. Just talking about these things, as trivial as they may seem at the time, can have a marked influence on our quality of life. I certainly appreciate the people who fill this role for me, and ensure that I can be the leaning post for them that they are for me. It doesn't always work both ways though, with my work I'm often the leaning post for people who have no-one else with whom they can share their inner emotions and thoughts. They're not always capable of filling the leaning post role themselves, but as they become more in touch with themselves the more capable they are of finding someone to balance things out with in their own world. 

The gay world is one that is often filled with doubts and insecurities and as we grow these are tackled and hopefully we grow stronger and more capable of supporting others within it. A big thanks to those who are there for me. You know who you are. 

If you don't have anyone who you can trust, you may find a local GP who can help out - or a counselling service who can provide an ear when you feel no-one else is willing or wanting to listen. For a gay friendly experience try the links below. Life is too short to not share our experiences.

Gay & Lesbian Counselling Service of NSW

Switchboard - Victoria & Tasmania

Gay & Lesbian Community Services - Western Australia

Gay & Lesbian Welfare Association - Queensland

Gay & Lesbian Community Services of South Australia

Late night bursts

I'm sitting in the living room with the heater turned down, and now it's too cold. Of course I am wearing shorts and it is mid winter. I could spew more CO2 into the atmosphere, or I could pop on some pants.  Or I could just be cold, and that's a lazy and easy option. Which I take.

It's a night at home on my own. I've left The Frenchman in charge of the youngster in her city abode and returned home to the coast. Of course everyone else had had their night and was headed to bed. I headed to the pool, swam then came home, worked, researched and did some reading. I love the late night. It's quiet apart from the occasional breaking wave thundering in the darkness and the thoughts in my head. I've read a selection of posts on blogs I check less regularly now, and I've gotten into their heads for short bursts, and realise that I haven't let anyone into mine here for a while. I've wondered whether I have anything useful to say any more, and if everyone is bored with baby stuff. You get into a bubble with a newborn around and your focus is a little narrowed. Its normal and I kinda like it. But I'm conscious of following the stereotype. I'm not a fan of following anything, much less stereotypes. But sometimes you need to start off on the same path before you head off in your own untrodden direction. Just not too long. 

Standing on Oxford Street in Paddington this evening in the late afternoon light was stunning. A warm sky, a cool air and glowing light beaming out of eclectic shop fronts inviting me in, the mouth-watering  smell of the various foods wafting about as I meandered past. It's a place I've been a thousand times before but rarely has it felt like it did today. I realise it's a whole new place for me now, a whole new world, and I'm loving it.

insomnia & fathering

I'm in the haze a series of sleep-interrupted nights creates, and my brian is slowed. Slowed to that point where you stare at things for no real reason, and when you realise you are doing it you regain your focus, look somewhere else, and then blur again into the distance. Productive it is not, and as my computer screen becomes that blur I realise another post on superchilled might just bite the dust. 

Part of the insomnia is a parenthood thing, part of it is work - but the combination of the two creates one formidable zombiesque state. 

One thing that is crystal clear is that entering into co-parenting means you're going to be asked a LOT OF THE SAME QUESTIONS over and over again. It gets to the point where you either just omit mentioning the co-parenting status in the introduction of one's entry into parenthood, step right into a description of what it all means right down to living arrangements, or wait for the questions to fly in, some with an air of "Do you know what you're getting into?" or alternatively "I can't see that this is going to be healthy for the child."And usually dispelled by the end of said conversation. It seems it is always easier being straight where you never have to justify anything, it's considered a natural progression. And the questions more "Why aren't you having kids?" rather than "Why are you having kids?". Despite this the responses to our becoming co-parenting dads have been almost uniformly encouraging and supportive, which is sensational. Certainly being a dad is a lot of fun and the work of nappy changes, feeding & the like doesn't feel at all like work. Although at 3 am one's enthusiasm can be a little less focussed. 

And to avoid ongoing sleep deprivation I'm headed to bed.

London Preppy - is he back?

One of my favourite blogs has been London Preppy - linked from superchilled for some time now. He has  lived and died and lived and died a few times, but it seems the messiah returns to the same channel, different time, same quirkiness (or is that bizarreness?) but certainly well written (& at times photographed or videoed)  and entertaining escapes from the every day. Catch him while he's still up and about. Click here, or from his blog link in the right column ->. 

Many apologies for a decided lack of input here of late. Things are on track for more classic superchilled in the near future. 

A Long Weekend of Beautiful Surf

The long weekend here has ended. Unusually we have not flown away for it. But there's something to be said for staying home. Here was what we woke up to most mornings. 

12 seconds - yep that's all.

I even ventured in for a surf myself and a few swims on top of that. It's been a busy time of late getting to know young Amélie and keeping everything else happening in the background. A little time out was fantastic, and for me there's nothing quite like escaping in the winter to a surprisingly warm, crystal clear surf. It's like heaven for me, true bliss. And on the beach and in the surf there have been an assortment of eye catching men. Damn it. 

I'm looking forward to more weekends like this. Lots more.