I'm ready for a break. Ready for some change. I've been on the merry go round for months and the 1 week break in Byron Bay was great, but enough to make me want more, not be ready to go back to every day life. I want to buy that one way ticket to anywhere and see where it leads. I want to seek the people who make me think and grow, and leave the people who stifle creativity and expression.
At the same time I want to cure my dog who has cancer and is deteriorating daily. He's the best natured labrador you could imagine, allowing my daughter to pull toys and food from his mouth, lie all over him, climb over him, as well as hug and kiss him as she too grows attached to him and searches for him whenever she arrives home. I don't want to leave him, I don't want him to leave us.
Watching a loved one dying, a little more each day, is a kind of living grief. You feel joy that he's here with you and sorrow knowing the time you have with him is increasingly short.
So I want to run away and stay where I am.