Friday, 27 May 2011

Pack up my wheels and...?

I'm ready for a break. Ready for some change. I've been on the merry go round for months and the 1 week break in Byron Bay was great, but enough to make me want more, not be ready to go back to every day life. I want to buy that one way ticket to anywhere and see where it leads. I want to seek the people who make me think and grow, and leave the people who stifle creativity and expression.

At the same time I want to cure my dog who has cancer and is deteriorating daily. He's the best natured labrador you could imagine, allowing my daughter to pull toys and food from his mouth, lie all over him, climb over him, as well as hug and kiss him as she too grows attached to him and searches for him whenever she arrives home. I don't want to leave him, I don't want him to leave us.
Watching a loved one dying, a little more each day, is a kind of living grief. You feel joy that he's here with you and sorrow knowing the time you have with him is increasingly short.

So I want to run away and stay where I am.

4 comments:

Peter said...

It's the responsibilities that's keeping us where we are. And running away doesn't solve the problem, sometimes it makes them worse.

Keep up Trevor, all will turn out right in the end.

Christiaan Kidd said...

Am really sad to read about the White wolf. He was a great character and I have so many happy memories of his crazy happy tail and the corresponding broken wine glasses. I hope he is not in pain and passes quietly and quickly. CK

SuperchilledTrevor said...

Thanks Peter, but if you see the last line you'll realise that we are both on the same page.

Thanks Christiaan. He died last Saturday before it all got too much for him, as much as we wanted him to stay and break more wine glasses. It's been a tough week for all, but at least he's not suffering.

Peter said...

Trevor, I'm sorry to hear your much loved dog died, but he's without pain now. He'll watch over you all from above and he'll live on in your hearts.