1. on the grass 2. In the gym...

1.

Where the bloody hell has all the time gone?

I had visions of loads of posts - a renaissance of kinds, which has obviously stuttered somewhat. I've been cycling, swimming and running, as per the plan, and then things like work, parenthood and logistical variances eat into all the other time in the day. And when the weather is as stunning as it was today - there's no way I'm staying inside. So I too was lying on the grass contemplating the beauty of it all today. At least for a while.

2.

Some readers have asked about the yoga video posted below, and there certainly is a little more intense man-to-man physical contact in there than one might normally expect in a traditional yoga class... which leads me to the question... Has anyone had more of a workout in an exercise class / training session than you initially expected?

Can you get enough?

I've had a great break, and being away from web-publishing /posting for a while it has allowed me think about exposure & personal revelation on the web and indeed in everyday life.

 

During the break I read an article in the Sydney Morning Herald entitled Too Much Information (see the full article here), and it resonated strongly with me. It basically explores the concept of keeping things personal in an increasingly public world.

What do we think we can reasonably expect to know about other people, and they about us?

The gossip magazines know our appetite for celebrity news, their continued existence demonstrates that clearly. But these days it isn't just about celebrities. Reality TV shows take us into the hearts and minds of their literal guy-next-door stars, blogs tell-all about their authors as well as whatever information they divulge about others. It's not just what they're wearing or where they're holidaying, it's who they're having sex with and how they're doing it, what they're obsessing over, what's happening in their relationships & families, why they're having counselling; there really is no limit to the detail. Blogs and Facebook pages become forums on their owners' private lives, whether they like it or not, though usually triggered by self published information. The more we see it around us, the more we expect people to be forthcoming with all the details of their intimate lives. 

Personal information has become not a saleable commodity, but an expected part of routine social intercourse. Penile dimensions and sexual preferences often prioritised ahead of personality, occupation or, god forbid, political persuasion. Conversations that don't enter into the sordid are seen as bland, boring, conservative and oh-so-last-century. I was sitting chatting with The Frenchman and close female friend of ours in a public space last week when a woman sitting within earshot interrupted us to ask if we were a threesome. We were speechless. 

The future is looking to get even more invasive. Today's primary school kids email and text each other day and night discussing their latest crushes and all manner of topics, just a decade ago you'd rarely have seen a letter and even more rarely a phone call from these kids who are now texting 24/7.  How much information about their school mates will they know by the time they get to high school? 

I see relationships being shredded live on the net with all and sundry getting in on the action with intimate details let loose. People get hurt, and the world looks on and wants more. What's the juice? What's the Goss? Who's doing what to whom? It's okay, you can tell me, [I'll only divulge it if it feels right at the time.]

Have you ever been told that because you haven't shared your entire sexual history with someone, you're not really a friend?

When will we get enough? Will we ever be satiated with the information we draw in?

And do we really need it?

It seems what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas any more. The ability to compartmentalise various aspects of our lives is seen now as a bad thing, transparency is king. But laying our lives bare for analysis and criticism is not always productive and frequently boundaries are blurred and out of context we are misinterpreted. Do you want to have your manhunt or gaydar profile blended with your Facebook profile? Being able to share things deeply personal with a trusted few is something that enriches those relationships. Share them with the world and do people really appreciate it?

Are we happy to divulge our personal lives to everyone? Personally I'm increasingly not. There are elements that I'm happy to share where I feel my experiences may benefit others. There are bloggers who are extremely candid with their posts about their lives which can put them in the firing line from all and sundry. Certainly there are times when this can truly be beneficial, especially in the gay world where dealing with HIV, family and coming out can be significantly aided by following others' personal experiences. But where is the boundary between personal development and voyeuristic infotainment? 

I like a little mystery, uncertainty, the element of surprise. It's what makes the world an interesting place and people more intriguing. Having to make a little effort to explore all the hidden places in people's lives is a lot more interesting than having them served up on a platter. It is after all the journey that is half the fun, and I want 100% not just half of it.

Wild Wednesday

Last week Superchilled readers were asked if they'd be prepared to sell themselves for sex, and an overwhelming 73%  said yes they would. 

A fantastic Wild Wednesday today would be to suggest that 73% of you actually (well, at least hypothetically) put yourselves on the market. But in order to do that we need a marketing strategy. 

Now there are a few options.

Walk up and down the street (or just jig around a bit) wearing a sandwich board that says something like "for a great meal, eat me. Fresh and delicious. Lunchtime special price of...". Ideally you will be wearing nothing underneath to entice those with an appetite.

Get yourself to a Gala Ball or similar, dress up to the nines, a tux might be nice, perhaps driving in in an Aston Martin might look the part too. Select wealthy fellow attendees to schmooze and leave with your calling card. Leave them wanting more... I'm guessing this is more the go if you're striving for the millions alluded to last week.

Perhaps an ad in your local rag... but what would you write?  How would you put into words your best marketing strategy? Or would you do it with pictures?

So today as your wild wednesday challenge I'm asking you to tell us your own personal marketing strategy. Or perhaps a suggestion of one for someone else. 

Get a little hot under the collar. See what you can come up with.

Got a tag line?

What price sex?

You're out and about and you bump into someone who likes the essence of you - so much so they offer to pay to have an up close and personal experience with you.

It can be now, it can be later. 

What would you do?

Now before you answer, imagine they offer you a thousand dollars, perhaps more, 10 thousand... a million dollars? Would you categorically say no? If not - at what price would you accept the invitation?

If you chose to have sex without any money involved - it's a complete different story to if there is money exchanging hands. 

But why?

Who really cares? 

Ask a thousand gay men if they'd accept money for sex and what would they say?

Well let's find out - take the poll top right, and see.

Would you make the deal?

Body Parts

Do you know where your prostate is? or if you're that way inclined, your cervix? Know what it looks like? what it does? 

Today I was chatting with friends about various anatomical and physiological bits & pieces and was quite surprised with the lack of knowledge about their own bodies.

Having studied medicine and practised in the field for some years I've become very familiar with both the anatomical and pathological versions of people's bodies. I guess to me it's second nature to know what's happening and where. And while my knowledge is expected, it still astounds me the lack of knowledge most people have about their anatomy. People usually know where their heart is, though not always, but ask about the prostate, epididymis, cervix, liver... and wide eyes are often the response. 

Surely, I think to myself, people will have an interest in parts of their bodies, especially parts intimately involved in things like sexual activity. But it seems I'm wrong about that one too. Though, I think knowledge in this area is certainly a sexual advantage. 

With the world at our fingertips it's so easy to find out what everything is and does - for example if you type "epididymis" in google and click ' I'm feeling lucky ' this is what you will find. Easy. A few minutes later you'll know about a part of you you probably didn't even know existed, though you've probably felt it a thousand times. 

Perhaps as kids we should be taught not just "point to your nose... now point to your lips..." but also "point to your liver, your kidneys... now point to your prostate, your spleen...." it might look a bit odd, but what an enlightened new generation we might have. Who knows, it might even make my job easier.

Billboard ads we can do with more of: No.2

This series of ads in Stockholm is initially intriguing, and then quite refreshing. Made me laugh and then smile. 

Click on each for a larger version.

I've typed in a translation for the final text ad. 

I thought it might add some flavour to the recent Papal issues here in Oz.

Anyone have images for some other fun condom ads? 

Feel free to email them to me at superchilledtrevor@gmail.com - and I'll see if I can find some extra billboard space for them here. 

Wild Hot Sex Wednesday

What better way to punctuate the week than with Wild Hot Sex on Wednesday? Life's too short to live for the weekend, today's the day to get jiggy with it.

It's not in your diary? Seriously? You need to book youself a 60 minute meeting entitled "wild hot sex with X" or "lunch - out of office - take towel" if someone else reads your diary and they're not X. Perhaps its a morning thing - surprise your other half this morning by waking them up to this week's wild wednesday theme (if you've read this and morning is long gone - then Thursday will do). An evening under the stars - starkers - could also go down a treat... pun definitely intended.

Do you need me to go on? I think you can think of a few possibilities - I certainly have.

Have a wild, hot, sexed up Wednesday. It's on the house!

I like this theme - I might continue with it next week as well...

Men on Men on 3

The Frenchman has been working on a new product for mobile phone company 3 that superchilled readers might find interesting... Called Stud TV, it has erotic gay content (I think we can call it porn) and can be found on your mobile phone now if you have a 3 account.

For more info click on the image to the right (or here) to go to the 3 website.

It's been fun to help research this one...

Life & Love... a fun safe sex ad...

length: a few minutes max

I like this one - the French know how to animate - sexy, poignant and even sensible!

Passionate Wild Wednesday

We've had all manner of challenges on wild wednesday, and the focus has been more on doing things that scare you and challenge you. But today I'm throwing caution to the wind and promoting a wild wednesday of passion! That's right - be passionate about things today - in all kinds of ways - throw yourself into things you love, be that men, art, sport, food... or all of it at once, just go for it. The wilder and sexier the better, and read the post 'talking sex' if you have any concerns about letting us know how it went for you. Life's too short to not go wild from time to time, be safe of course, but go wild in every other way. If we can't hear you screaming in pleasure, you're not being passionate enough!!

Talking Sex

Do you contact your friends the moment you've exited a sex scene and tell them of success/disappointment, grandness/petiteness, the rating of his kissing prowess, the overall raunch, or failure to launch? Or do you keep it to yourself or reveal it in stages, and in the right places?

When I first entered the gay scene it seemed all everyone talked about was sex. And in detail, explicit detail. While sometimes that was quite a lot of fun, it seemed to me that it brought the whole thing of sex and people and relationships into a commodity. People became rated according to their varying sexual capacities, performance, and size. A thing of numbers and stats. But where I came from - one didn't speak of such things - in fact - one didn't speak about sex at all. So early on The Frenchman and I decided that we didn't want to talk about sex so openly. We wanted to keep something for 'just us'.

Talking about sex though, is something that can be quite liberating, and at times a lot of fun. Discussion with close friends about such things can certainly strengthen relationships and break down barriers that we've held up for so long. But how much is too much? What should we keep to ourselves? And what do our sexual partners expect of us on these matters?

Sex is best when it's one on.....?

If we listen to the George Michael from the "I want your Sex" days then sex is best when it's one on one. But is it? Or is it best when it's one on two or three or four, or more? When less is more - is more morer?

I spoke with a former monk, "Scott," today. After leaving the monastic life Scott did a 180 and sex became a major part of his life. He had sex with multiple partners, and he very much enjoyed it. But ultimately he found it was too unbalanced for him. He’d left one extreme for another. Now he's embarking on a more settled life with just one partner, and he seems very happy with his choice.

As gay men we have the possibility of a whole other world than the yellow brick road that society expects of our heterosexual counterparts. If you're outside the norm on being gay - well, you might as well make up your own rules on everything else too?

While it's not always the case we have generally less entanglements with the whole sex thing. One or two or three partners in sex are often discussed and many of you will know of relationships where there are three partners living together. I personally know of 2 (although they're not close friends of mine), and while it's not for me, at least not right now- it does seem to work for them.

But bring up the topic and there will be a wide variety of reactions. Some people will claim the more the merrier, others find the whole idea abominable, some are curious but not quite sure how to go about doing it. Are you thinking less or more? Or are you still unsure?