Tuesday, 23 June 2009

insomnia & fathering


I'm in the haze a series of sleep-interrupted nights creates, and my brian is slowed. Slowed to that point where you stare at things for no real reason, and when you realise you are doing it you regain your focus, look somewhere else, and then blur again into the distance. Productive it is not, and as my computer screen becomes that blur I realise another post on superchilled might just bite the dust. 

Part of the insomnia is a parenthood thing, part of it is work - but the combination of the two creates one formidable zombiesque state. 

One thing that is crystal clear is that entering into co-parenting means you're going to be asked a LOT OF THE SAME QUESTIONS over and over again. It gets to the point where you either just omit mentioning the co-parenting status in the introduction of one's entry into parenthood, step right into a description of what it all means right down to living arrangements, or wait for the questions to fly in, some with an air of "Do you know what you're getting into?" or alternatively "I can't see that this is going to be healthy for the child."And usually dispelled by the end of said conversation. It seems it is always easier being straight where you never have to justify anything, it's considered a natural progression. And the questions more "Why aren't you having kids?" rather than "Why are you having kids?". Despite this the responses to our becoming co-parenting dads have been almost uniformly encouraging and supportive, which is sensational. Certainly being a dad is a lot of fun and the work of nappy changes, feeding & the like doesn't feel at all like work. Although at 3 am one's enthusiasm can be a little less focussed. 

And to avoid ongoing sleep deprivation I'm headed to bed.

5 comments:

Ky said...

Good on you and hang in there. She will be crawling, walking & running before you know it. (I used to help when my mum babysit a little girl from when she's 3 months to 6 yrs old.) I was a teenager at the time but each week she would have mastered something new. It's amazing. Well done to you guys for deciding to have a child. It is annoying all these people finding it hard to understand why we want to raise children as well. Well, you guys are pioneers and hopefully it will become a social norm one day.

Take care.

Dr.josheph said...

If you are suffering from sleep problems such as insomnia or obstructive sleep apnea, you need to consider this problem seriously and adopt specific measures at the earliest to get back your sleep. Regular exercising is one of the options to ensure sound sleep at night. Altogether, if you are unable to get adequate sleep during night, you can undertake certain initiatives to overcome your sleep problems such as fixing your sleeping as well as waking schedule and abstaining from alcohol, nicotine, tea, coffee et al before hitting the bed.

Angus said...

hahahah love that last comment.
Also love your BRIAN function; haha true fatigue that is!! They say it's all worth it.

Anonymous said...

If the new family addition is adding to the lack of sleep - my niece's 5 week old son has responded really well to the age old technique of "swaddling". Seems to put him right to sleep. Tons of info on the internet of course.

SuperchilledTrevor said...

Angus - yes the sleep deprived brian is a sight to behold...

Anon: thanks, we mastered the art of swaddling just after birth, and it can be very good. It's more of a waking-to-feed thing that creates sleep interruption at present. Not sure when that alarm will switch itself off.