No We Can't

A recent study at The Royal London Institute of Gender Studies, released today, establishes that gay men and lesbian women perform on average, well behind their heterosexual counterparts in a range of physical and intelligence testing over a wide range of testing protocols. Associated with the study was an assessment of workplace performance where those who identified as gay or lesbian were shown to have significantly lower income and workplace ranking compared with their age matched and culturally similar heterosexual counterparts. Interestingly the study showed that those who identified as bisexual performed, on average, well above both their homosexual and heterosexual counterparts in all testing. The formal results, to be released later today, are expected to cause quite a stir in the scientific as well as gay and lesbian communities, but a spokesperson for the International Bisexual Alliance has already stated "It shows we really do have the best of both worlds."