Saturday, 17 April 2010

Taking hold, and letting go

Amélie holding onto my dad's hand - in Hospital.

My dad came out of hospital today. It's a place he's not really frequented in his life but managed to be in for 12 days this admission. He was wheeled to the exit and into the passenger seat of my mum's car - another place he's not generally found - and home with a few walking-frame-navigated distances into a modern apartment now adorned with various mobility aids and hospital style elevated chairs. They all look so out of place. My dad has always been a powerhouse, the guy who lifts cars, fixes everything, climbs into ceiling spaces to install lights and the like, and to see him walking slowly and deliberately with his new titanium reinforcements now inserted into his fractured femur is a little disconcerting. It makes you think about life's responsibilities...

I was driving home afterwards thinking, if something serious happened - would I be able to sort out my parent's affairs, organise appropriate farewells. Would I cope emotionally? I've not ever contemplated life without them, but fragility is just a short mis-taken step away. I see photos of my daughter with my parents and I wonder what memories she will have of them, will they be anything like those I have of my grandparents? My niece the other day asked of my grandmother "...the lady with the purple hair?" but oh, she was so much more than that, the emotions and experiences that are imprinted in my being from her are a powerful influence to this day. And then I see how different my life has been from that of my parents, how I'm partly in their world, but with a foot in another world and Amélie in turn will have her own path...

It does make one look at things with a different perspective. Issues that may have once been all consuming in various relationships become minor details that are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. One's transience becomes a whole lot more obvious. But it's not necessarily a negative thing. I think it's more a reminder that each day is something to be grasped by the balls and run with. There'll be plenty of time to sleep when I'm dead.

3 comments:

Timothy said...

Your bub is utterly gorgeous dude!

I'm beginning to come to accept the 'transience' of various events in life too. It's exactly as you put it; how things once all engulfing are just minor hiccups in the 'grand scheme of things'.

And i think its merely a reflection of life experience and the domain in which you live. When in highschool, your target and concern was that final mark (haha i didn't discover love n sex till a little later), but as you incorporate a partner, a job, a hobby into the equation, it becomes a easier to not get so caught up with all the issues when you got so many more 'balls [to] run with'.

SuperchilledTrevor said...

Timothy: Thanks very much for your comments. Life experience can indeed make life richer - though it can take work to make it so, it's worth it.

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