Friday, 3 February 2012

Happy New Year, oh but wait it's already February.

I've been absent both here and from home for a few weeks now. Nothing like a trip around the world to start the year. But a sure fire way to make January fly by. Literally.

During that time away I learnt a number of ways to BEHAVE BADLY as a TRAVELLER.

1. If you are from Russia,
Take your newly found 'lady of the night' to one of the classiest restaurants in town. Be loud to ensure everyone notices you and pop your 2 large bags of McDonald's take-out right in the middle of the table. Keep it there right through the sensational dinner. Better still, get your mate to do the same with you. All class. Departing early, leaving the girls to enjoy the rest of their meals in relative silence is your only saving grace.
CHI CHA restaurant, Cusco, Peru

From Germany
When your tour guide, who has literally just finished a 4 day mountainous trek (which you missed because you didn't turn up on day 1) is going to the first proper bathroom he's seen in days, demand that you really need to get going for the next leg that you're catching up with, and that he's wasting your time. Sensitive.
Machu Picchu, Peru

3. From Israel
If it's a popular national park hike in serene surrounds, be sure to have a loud and animated conversation that drowns out the sounds of wildlife and running streams for the entire duration of the walk. Ensure than EVERYONE on the track hears you and only you, even though nobody else seems to need this volume to be heard by their fellow walkers.
El Chalten, Argentina

4. From everywhere English speaking: when a local doesn't understand what you're saying, turn the volume up! Surely if you speak louder everyone will understand. Intelligent.

5. I'm not sure where from but smoking cigars relentlessly in a large hotel lobby/restaurant open space to the point that everyone reeks of smoke is the definition of wanker.
El Calafate, Argentina.

Perhaps I'm just over sensitive.

Oh and Happy New Year.


Bob USA said...

I have a fifth entry.

5. Parents fly in first class, their three roudy children fly unaccompanied in coach.

Bob USA said...

Make that the sixth comment.

Superchilled said...

I'm impressed Bob, that's all class. I hope you weren't stuck next to them or having to manage them...

Anyone else have any similar travel experiences?