One Step Closer

These are my newest fashion accessory... Well, sporting accessory at least, and calculated from a test cycle just now these babies have improved my speed by approximately 4%. I literally ground my last set of pedals to pieces, so to replace those rather last century leather strap contraptions I've joined the real cyclists with clip on ones. Now that I'm cycling in addition to swimming and running I'm going to be asked a lot more now when I'm starting competing in triathlons... that hasn't been decided upon, but I'm tempted. But where to begin?

It's a sensational day today. I'm so glad not to be working, and prior to the cycle I hit the water for an epic swim with some friends a little farther south of home. Right now I'm enjoying babysitting the sleeping child and watching the waves roll on in while the Frenchman has gone in for a dip himself. Ah bliss...

Oh Yes We CAN!

On April 1st I posted the article below which detailed a study identifying how gays & lesbians were shown to perform below par with their straight counterparts. It was of course an April Fools Day joke. Did anyone notice?

The whole idea of the actual poster series (openartistmovement.com) is to demonstrate people who are gay, successful and empowered. I personally love this image both for the hotness factor and the retro reference. And yeah, we can too.

No We Can't

A recent study at The Royal London Institute of Gender Studies, released today, establishes that gay men and lesbian women perform on average, well behind their heterosexual counterparts in a range of physical and intelligence testing over a wide range of testing protocols. Associated with the study was an assessment of workplace performance where those who identified as gay or lesbian were shown to have significantly lower income and workplace ranking compared with their age matched and culturally similar heterosexual counterparts. Interestingly the study showed that those who identified as bisexual performed, on average, well above both their homosexual and heterosexual counterparts in all testing. The formal results, to be released later today, are expected to cause quite a stir in the scientific as well as gay and lesbian communities, but a spokesperson for the International Bisexual Alliance has already stated "It shows we really do have the best of both worlds."

I wore my sunglasses at night

In fact we all wore our sunglasses at night. It was a hoot, the whole evening. One of those spontaneous ones that just develops like a snowball on a powder snow mountain - you roll, you fall you laugh as the powder fills your lungs - you get up, keep going and don't stop laughing.

A text in the mid afternoon was the first snowball, a final dinner for a good friend and one time flat mate returning to her Melbourne nest after some months in Sydney, the location - who knows, we'll work it out as time approaches, perhaps a movie after. The second snowball, a call from other friends - are we keen to see a movie (the same movie) - perhaps do dinner before? Hmm.... yes sure, we're in - in fact we have it planned but for dinner - you choose the restaurant & we'll be there.

The restaurant is Japanese and hip, there are people waiting for hours for tables but we're in and the food is waiting for us. The conversation is a thousand miles an hour, the food constant and mouthwatering, we're laughing, there are photos, there are shared and unidentified morsels. I think there was wine. We don't stop. We talk all the way to the cinema, we wear the polarised glasses well before we get into the 3D cinema - it's completely nerdy and we're on such a high we don't care. In fact they're so bad they're fabulous.

We laugh through the movie, though not everyone in the cinema does, and run in the pouring rain that greets us as we leave, still wearing the sunnies, still on a high and it feels like we're in our own little movie, the rest of the world the extras.

Saying goodbye to our Melbourne-bound friend is the sad end to the screenplay, it was a great film and I'm looking forward to the sequel.

It can't come soon enough.

Mannervescence

Those in Australia will have seen the stunning 'schweppervescence' ads (see below). I'm waiting for the next campaign more along the lines of the above photo.

I'd drink to that.

A Single Man

I was lucky enough to be invited to see a preview of A Single Man at the Open Air Cinema in Sydney on the weekend. Sitting outdoors with Sydney Harbour, The Opera House and Harbour Bridge before you is always a great way to spend the evening, but with a screen that pops up and plays a movie as divine as A Single Man, it's perfect. But then there was the rain... Thankfully ponchos were provided to keep us less wet, I've worn quite a few of these over the years, but the rain didn't dampen the impact of the movie. Beautifully filmed, exquisitely acted and moving, right from the start, with an element of tension right through. I highly recommend it. Tom Ford's directorial debut is an impressive display of his diverse talent.

A Superchilled 4 stars.

absent gay men

Eight and a half months into parenthood, life continues at pace, an accelerated pace. The tiny helpless baby is now manipulating objects, connecting with people and three times the size of day zero, pulling heartstrings even more than at birth. I've been thrilled at the excitement people have had to be a part of the experience and similarly surprised at the lack of interest from many gay friends. Though some other gay dads have been awesome (though not uniformly) it's our straight and lesbian friends who have taken a much keener interest. The greatest support and excitement has come from the straight community including colleagues, patients and local community. The overwhelming response from gay male friends has been their absence. I sometimes wonder why that is. Sure there is the maternal factor, but the straight guys are also more involved and supportive. Some friends haven't even seen our daughter since she was born. I understand it's our choice to do the whole parenting thing, but with an increasing trend to gay parenting I have wondered what the issue is? Some guys still think parenting needs to be with a man and a woman - though we have 2 men and one woman - or a married family unit. Some may have issues with their own paternal ambitions having been given up long ago, others may just have no interest in kids at all. Issues from prior relationships with women and children may be a factor for others. Maybe this is just my own experience, does anyone else have an opinion or experience of this?

I'm enjoying being a dad, its a hell of a lot of fun. My sense of community though, is changing.

Beached As

Brilliantly composed this image has all the elements I crave for a chilled out time by the beach. I think I might book this in for next weekend. The week though - hellishly busy!

Mardi Gras 2010

Sydney Mardi Gras organisers have sent a promo for this year's Mardi Gras, below. If you're tired of the northern chill maybe you should think about heading down for bit of southern hemisphere warmth and hospitality. You know you want to.

4min 3 sec

Rough Looks

There's something about the unshaven look coupled with sparkling visual clarity that just takes your breath away, as these photos demonstrate. Of course if you're still breathing you may decline to vote - otherwise you may like to pick the man who takes your breath most away.

Michael Fitt

Michael Brent

Luke Guldan

Rodrigo Guiaro Diaz

Rough Look 5

This one's for you Geoff.

Small strokes, big steps and Bondi.

As a kid I grew up in a seaside suburb, but I never really spent a lot of time at the beach. Sure there'd be days we'd head down for a swim, but not as a regular thing. I was more inactive, a little overweight, and more introverted really. I could swim, but I never competed save for the yearly school swimming carnival and now and again the next level if I freaked a good lap time there. Training? Did people really do that? I certainly didn't feel at home at the beach or wherever there were swim squads or other sporting pursuits.

So today is a life far removed from my childhood. Above and below are photos of Bondi beach today (somewhat modified as you can see) after the ocean swim that was today's competition. I started swimming in senior high school when I realised I was a bit overweight and needed to do something about it. Training on my own I started cycling to school (it wasn't all that close to home) and then after school to the 25m pool which had me gasping at the end of each lap. It gradually grew from there, still without any formal training, occasionally with friends but no real physical challenge. Then in preparation for the gay games in 2002 in Sydney I agreed with a friend to train for it - actually go the whole hog, squads, gym, the works. He didn't continue but I kept on and ultimately competed successfully (it was a lot of fun but some seriously hard work too). I had broken my own self created mould. I'd become a competitive athlete. With time my love for things aquatic continues to grow, I live by the water, swim daily whether it be in the waves with crowds, on my own with the sharks, in the pool with fellow trainers or with with 7 month old Amélie who just this weekend got to try on her new goggles (and loved them). And on days like today compete with people who used to be completely foreign to me. I'm still that other guy too, but I do more things now and I love it.

Life is a series of small steps. Sometimes though we need to take bigger steps and see where we land. The start of the year is a great chance to take some new steps, then see where we are come December.

2010

Will we be saying twenty ten, two thousand and ten or perhaps two oh one oh?

I think I like twenty ten best, easy, fast and kinda cool.

I'm starting back at work this week after some time off but I'm not too stressed about the idea of it yet. That may all change as I walk in the door Monday morning... I certainly will be looking forward to more time away from work though over summer, with time at the beach, surfing and swimming a distinct priority.

Over the break I headed to Byron Bay which has to be one piece of heaven. It's certainly the place to go to people watch - if you like watching gorgeous men (think washboard abs and board shorts barely holding on) - but has a fair share of eateries, beaches and surrounding points of interest as well. I'm going back, definitely. Can I go now?

For those following young Amélie, she is now 7 1/2 months and developing at rapid pace. She's been to the beach a few times, even got dumped in a freak wave but didn't miss a beat and has been ever keen to return (arms and legs go wild whenever we talk about going there or when walking there). It seems she's caught my love of the water, which is perfect. She may well be swimming before she's walking, but time will tell.

I have no specific plans for the blog this year, but am happy for any input as to likes and preferences for the year ahead. I'm going to busy this year outside blogging with a host of events focussing significantly on Amélie as one might expect, but life goes on outside of parenthood and I'm keen to continue being active in all spheres.

Right now I'm updating my music collection and scanning in old cd's to add finally a little diversity to my iTunes collection. Any new and interesting music suggestions are welcomed while I'm at it.

Happy New Year. Let's see what we can all make of it.

Small footprints, big impacts.

I wish you all a fantastic year

Merry Superchilled Christmas

I'm lying naked in bed in the far north. It's warm and the sound of the ocean is lazing its way into the room. It's certainly not the White Christmas of last year. Santa has made a comeback this year though and any time now will be heading down our chimney to deliver gifts for the newest addition to the family. We had been debating the institution of Santa this year, and whether he would be alive and kicking for Amélie's first Christmas. The stranger danger, the stupid red hot suit, the lying to your child issues have been put aside and we're embracing the unique childhood fantasy that is Christmas time. And I love it. There are stocking out already filled with gifts as with evidence of a hastily departing man in a red suit. Santa has been kind to us all and delivered the most gorgeous men to the beaches and quite frankly everywhere around here, so I'm thanking him every day, tomorrow Amélie will get to have her own fun.

Let the games begin.

Merry Christmas everyone.

So THAT was Christmas

I've had Christmas already.

No I mean it, I've had it, celebrated, eaten the celebratory food, opened the gifts, sat back and chatted with relatives about life the universe and almost everything, including all too often medical problems. We've celebrated early as my family is essentially flying off to various corners of the earth for Christmas day and it was the last time we could get together before parting ways. With a little'un in tow there have been a lot of gaps: the events and discussions that happened while I was getting her off to sleep or feeding etc, which just adds to the mayhem of what is already a chaotic day, the end of which is filled with sighs and exasperated collapses into lounges back at home.

This year has also seen me take our daughter, holding her in her front pack (where she's sitting strapped on the front of me) to the kids Christmas party we hold for patients at our practice, with The Frenchman coming as well. It was a little daunting, as it's the first time we've been together at an essentially public function locally as a couple with a kid... and certainly a lot of attention was directed our way. Some quite invasive questioning also followed from people who were at least interested in our set up, but after a while one does tire of explaining everything. I guess this is what it's like being a frontrunner in this part of the country where co-parenting is as common as carbon neutral coal.

Now that the big events are over, it's plain sailing to the actual Christmas Day, and I'm quite looking forward to it.

Awesome Weekend

So I've woken up at 7am, at the latest, every day (including Friday) this weekend, and it has been such an intensely FULL weekend. I love it. I absolutely loved it, not all aspects mind you, but the overall rating is certainly way up there. The not so fab bits, well, they weren't all that bad in the grand scheme of things. The fab, oh so good.

I feel like I need a shower, though I've only recently had one. It's that feeling you get when you've been at the beach much of the day, a little bit of sun and wind making the skin feel that little bit, hmm, summerised. It was my first ocean swim for the year, and I powered through it and surprised myself with a placing. Big smile from me the rest of the afternoon. And what an afternoon. Weather they pick out for postcards and travel ads. Cocktails on the deck watching the waves, the setting sun, and a summer barbecue to finish it all off. The Frenchman managed to find the solitary blue bottle in the whole of the ocean on this perfect day today, and it attacked him like a frenzied shark (well, ok , it hurt). But he made it through like a trooper, finished the race and achieved a lot more.

Saturday night I escaped to see Jay Brannan in concert. He was fantastic. The warm up act was so so, and everyone was chatting like it was just background music at a bar (and in that time I caught up with friends and met someone from way back who quite surprised me). Then Jay came on and he had everyone's complete attention. There were no conversations happening, full on focus on the man of the moment on the last performance in his world "I suck at life" tour. I love his humour, though some may not. His music is a lot of fun, sometimes moving, some times hilarious, and the live performance was sensational, a natural and easygoing performer with stunning vocal ability. I'm so glad I managed to get there and had some friends who took me in.

Amélie had her first sleep over without her mum on the weekend. Stressful for her mum, but exciting for her dads! It was a lot of fun. She's always a lot of fun and so easy. It's so easy in fact it feels like I'm not really being a dad at all, it's supposed to be hard work isn't it? I mean there's a lot to do, but once I'm awake, it's not so hard.

I'm voting for more of these weekends, and more of the people who take them that step above the ordinary.

photos from the bondi to bronte ocean swim site

Are you Mr Green Card USA?

Have you got your Green Card yet?

In Australia you might think this is your medicare card, but if you're interested in working & living in the USA it's essentially your entry permit. Lavi Soloway has informed me of the nearing of the closing date for the green card lottery, which is your chance to get one of those elusive green cards drawn essentially from a hat. The USA is now also withdrawing the HIV positive ban on those entering the states which may make a big difference for those affected.

Those who are looking to make it big in the States, or just to live and work there for a while or ever, should consider applying. There is more information here to get you started, thanks also to Lavi.

Good luck!!

Superheated Superchilled

With the temperature at midnight 32C (90F) it's certainly an early blast of summer (or rapid-fire global warming). Going shirt-off is definitely the way, but when you're working it's not always the easiest thing to do. Having breakfast this morning at my regular, diggies, it was very VERY hard to head back to work. The heat just makes you want to sit and chill, order more drinks and watch the passers by who are increasingly frequent (and gorgeous) in the warmer half of the year. There are predictions of warmer days ahead this weekend - I'm not fond of anything 40+ but it seems it's something I'm going to need to get comfortable with. I just need to find someone who is keen to go skinny dipping one of these warm nights. There's nothing like it on a hot summer night!

Midnight Running

Saturday night around midnight, Federation Square Melbourne. There is a buzz on the street with people out and about, eating, drinking and stumbling home. I'm headed back to the hotel after a progressive dinner in a few funky restaurants and find myself in the middle of a group of women, the tallest comes to about my armpit. I rapidly find out they've been celebrating (we'll call her) Sharon's 30th birthday. Sharon rapidly approaches (are they kidding me?! surely this is a 40th celebration, and I'm being kind) and before I know it I have an intoxicated, overweight woman hanging off me with closed eyes and pursed lips pushing in my direction. The emergency evacuation buzzer alarms and I'm out of there before you can say "gay man's nightmare". I hear the words "he's shy" from the group she's with as I'm running across the busy street narrowly avoiding cars and trams. She has good friends.

Summer Beach

Summer is rapidly approaching, the pools are filling up with lap swimmers, the gyms with those chasing the ultimate 6 pack and the beaches increasingly decorated with fine examples of this pursuit of physical perfection, or at least the perfect wave, with similar results.

My posts have been a little more serious of late so to break the ice, and to banish it to drinks only for the summer, I'm asking what the example of said pursuit above might have encountered to result in his facial expression?

Write what you think in the comments. Then relax and enjoy the sunshine as nicely demonstrated below. (or if you're in the northern hemisphere, revisit your recent summer memories...)

The Pinnacle Foundation launches

The Pinnacle Foundation launches in Sydney on Tuesday November 17th.

Superchilled interviews Founding Director Sean Linkson:

Superchilled: What will the The Pinnacle Foundation actually do?

Sean Linkson: It will provide educational scholarships to high-potential, disadvantaged LGBT youth who might not otherwise be able to achieve their educational goals, and hence their full potential.

SC: Why was it started?

SL: As our website (www.thepinnaclefoundation.org) says, way too many young LGBTs fail to achieve their full and glorious potential because prejudice and hate impose disadvantage and impediment. The Pinnacle Foundation aims to remove impediment and create advantage. Pinnacle is about creating an enduring legacy that will produce wonderful, fully-expressed and educated LGBT people who will make a mark on their generation in ways that we can’t even imagine.

SC: What made you get involved?

SL: We were inspired by an organisation in the USA called The Point Foundation that does a similar thing. We thought why not do the same in Australia?

SC: What has been your role in The Pinnacle Foundation?

SL: Along with the love of my life Philip and dear friend Paul, we are founders and directors of Pinnacle – all volunteer of course. As a charity we seek to put as much of our donations to helping Pinnacle Scholars, that’s why no one takes a salary and all goods and services are obtained pro-bono wherever possible. There’s a whole bunch of corporations that have been very generous to us. Paul, Philip and I can’t do everything of course so we are helped by an amazing group of volunteers on our management committee. Check them out under ‘Meet the team’ on the website – they’re all incredible.

SC: How long has it taken to get up and running?

SL: It’s taken four years to get to this point. When you’re asking people to donate time and resources, plus the fact we all have busy day-time jobs, things take a little longer. It’s a labour of love setting up a legal entity with a constitution, registering it as a charity then securing tax deductibility status from the government. Then there’s websites to build and lots of processes and protocols around how we treat applications, support scholarship recipients, screen mentors etc.

SC: In your own life, who has been your most inspiring person?

SL: I see lots of inspiring people every day in my job as a head-hunter, but I also find that ‘everyday’ people can be inspiring too. I love what Matthew Mitcham has done in sport (and Matt, if you read this we’d love you as a Patron!). Michael Kirby will be well known to your Australian readers and he ranks up their on the world stage as a humanitarian. We are very privileged to have Michael as our Patron.

SC: I understand there will be mentoring provided through the foundation in addition to scholarships. Have you ever had a mentor? What influence did they have on you?

SL: Yes, mentoring is a really important adjunct to the funds we provide for the scholarship. Money can pay fees but doesn’t teach you life lessons – that’s where the mentors come in. It’s all part of maximising the potential of our Pinnacle Scholars. Personally, I count anyone who has helped me face the world as a proud, out man as a mentor. That includes the obvious like my parents but I have learned so much from some of my bosses, my friends, various ‘gurus’, godparents, grandparents. I’ll never forget my grandfather telling me as a 9 year old to “never hate anything”. Those three words hit me like a train even then and to this day, some 43 years later, form the very foundation of my life. Another mentor delivered what I call “the line of my life”. He said, “Your life is the universe’s gift to you, what you do with it is your gift to the universe”.

SC: Who will the official mentors be?

SL: We haven’t nominated any mentors yet but we have a rigorous selection process in place that includes extensive probity checks. We aren’t going to let just anyone near our Scholars!

SC: Who can apply for a scholarship / assistance?

SL: You’ll find our criteria on the website, but basically you have to be an Australian citizen over 16 years old and a permanent resident. Applicants must also:

• Identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Queer or Transgender and because of this:
• Have personal or social circumstances which provide significant challenges to the person completing their education; or
• Have been marginalised due to sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression; and
• In the opinion of the Selection Committee:

• Takes their studies seriously and has shown academic achievement during their years at school; and
• Can demonstrate their commitment to completing Year 12 , a tertiary degree or vocational training;
• Demonstrates leadership skills, has good academic results and wants to make a difference in the world; and
• Is proud to stand up for the LGBT rights and is dedicated to the LGBT community.

Our first scholarships will be issued in Sydney but we hope to go national in coming years.

SC: Many of superchilled readers are outside Australia, are scholarships available to them?

SL: No. If you’re in the USA you can always try The Point Foundation.

SC: Is there an age limit?

SL: You must be at least 16 and less than 25.

SC: Are there really that many people out there who will need the assistance you provide?

SL: You’ve only got to look how many young people are helped by youth support organisations like Twenty10 orYouth Off The Streets in Sydney. Literally hundreds of young people are marginalised every year because of their sexuality – kicked out of home, bullied at school, bashed and abused by their peers. There are horrible statistics around youth suicide rates that correlate directly to unresolved gender identity issues and sexual marginalisation.

SC: When can people apply?

SL: Applications for 2010 scholarships are being taken now and must be in before end of November.

SC: Who funds the foundation?

SL: Pinnacle is funded purely by tax-deductible donations. Our aim is to get the fund to $5million and use the interest to fund multiple scholarships every year. PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY! We’ll love you forever.

SC: If we jump ahead to 2020, what would you like to be able to say about the Foundation's activities & achievements?

SL: In 2020 we will see a Pinnacle Scholar as President or Prime Minister of Australia. The first openly gay or lesbian leader of our country, and they would have won office in a landslide. We will see Pinnacle Scholars as leading lights in every profession and in every walk of life. They will take over the world and fill it with love and light. Now that’s not too much to ask is it? Lighting the spark within is what we do.

If you're keen to apply for a scholarship or know someone who might be, or alternatively if you think you might make a good supporter, check out the details at www.thepinnaclefoundation.org.

SC