Saturday, 22 December 2007

intoxicant intolerant

I go to the cinema and see these fantastic ads for beer, wine, and spirits, and while they're spectacular, there is never any drive for me to have or hold one of these magnificent glass vessels. Similarly the sensational ads for coffee have me looking around for signs of when the movie might start. People talk of coffee as their must have in the mornings: "Don't even talk to me before I've had my 2nd espresso" they say. It's an experience I'm familiar with, but from the sense of me saying "Here, you need this," as I hand The Frenchman his coffee of a Saturday morning. I don't even drink tea.

I'm the person people end up apologising to and explaining away their drinking patterns when I say no thanks to their offers of all of the above. The one who people try to get to drink more at parties both to see what might happen to me and to feel better about their own drinking habits. I'm the designated driver, always. The social outcast who isn't. I go to dance parties from time to time, but while others see elephants on my shoulders and stare at the lighting effects like it's a whole new world out there, I'm having a great time laughing at them, enjoying the music and feeling fine the next day.

I guess it started with a family who had no alcohol apart from gifts my dad got at Christmas which sat forever in the disused downstairs bar that came with the house. They refrigerated vintage red wine before serving, and mostly used it for cooking. Coffee they drank (and still do) in bucket loads "a mugaccino please" orders my dad, but I never caught that bug. So while I enjoy the smell of freshly ground coffee, that's where the romance ends. My siblings have moved into normality and indulge in all those beverages I decline. From time to time I'll drink a little alcohol to see if I enjoy it much, but rarely do. I've been wine tasting in all parts of the world, and can identify the style of wine and region where its produced reasonably well, but more than half a glass - and I'm giving it away. A whole glass? Under duress!

Of the 4 times I recall drinking beer, 2 of them were from decidedly gorgeous men who thrust them in my hand. But on none of those occasions did I make it beyond the first serve (of the beer).

While it is a little socially estranging these (lack of) habits of mine. I'm managing to cope. Though I do think it does limit my social invitations from time to time. I'll keep buying the wine beer & spirits for events we have and inviting people out for 'coffee' and 'drinks'; just don't expect to see me actually drinking much of the stuff any time soon.


Kenny McCormack said...

think of all that money saved!

Andy said...

How do you maintain friendships? You stand there, laughing in the faces of your friends while they are drinking and think you are somehow superior because you don't consume alcohol?

But that changes if someone attractive thrusts a drink into your hand. Does it not sound shallow and superficial to not stand your ground and refuse a drink just because someone's attractive?

I felt sad for you after reading this. I don't drink alcohol either, as I am muslim, but I don't think I am somehow better than everyone else for it. It's part of my culture, something I was raised with. I commend you not taking drugs, but laughing at your friends who do serves no purpose apart from feeding your own sense of superiority.

Reading your blog, I get a sense you have major control issues. That may be at the heart of your alcohol intolerance. You need to take a look deep inside yourself and ask some pretty tough questions about what drives this part of you. WHY don't you drink? You haven't given any reason except to be able to laugh at people who do.

Trevor said...

Kenny: Yeah it's good for saving money! Too right.

Andy: I was trying to say here that I don't in fact feel superior, it's just I don't drink - and I don't mind that others do. I don't enjoy it, I don't like the taste for the most part, and I wish that I did enjoy it a little more than I do, but I'm not too disturbed by it all, particularly as it's healthier for me this way anyway. The friends I describe laughing at: - those elephants are caused by non-alcohol drugs and they were laughing too. It was funny, but probably more so for them. It's not a statement of superiority. Oh and the other 2 times I had beer - it was in similar social circumstances where it was just best to grin and bear it. I have no need to stand my ground as you suggest. I don't want to make my non drinking an issue - it's just me. You say you don't drink because you're muslim and you were raised so - you obviously didn't read in the post that I too was brought up in a non drinking family. A Baptist family in fact. But I've moved on - just my taste buds haven't.

Ask questions to clarify before you criticise. Re-read the post. Assume nothing, and don't expect to know me based on your own interpretations of this blog.

Anonymous said...

Have read and re-read your post and Andy's comments. He's totally valid in his interpretation. If you don't want to be misinterpreted maybe you should learn to clarify your point in your writing.

Trevor said...

Okay so I'm a crap writer. Sue me.
I think a new year's resolution for me next year should be to not give a damn.
So for this year if anyone wants to do some psychoanalysis of me - now's your chance.

Peter said...

You just stepped down from my couch and my advise is... be yourself as you've always been.

I had a craving for sweet soda's, like Diet Coke for the last 9 months I've stopped drinking them just tapwater is enough. I've friends who don't drink either, in the beginning it was a problem 'what to serve them', no its easy... coffee [day & night]