Catalytic Moments

I'm sitting in one of the wards at the hospital where I'm working overnight. There have been 2 caesarean births I've attended - both boys and startlingly well, and other relatively minor happenings to deal with. Keeping me on my toes, but not really a challenge. When I'm working I'm dealing with the innermost workings of people in every sense. A physical, intellectual and emotional mix that varies in it's persuasion from one patient to the next. I can connect with most of the people with whom I interact professionally and often in quite a powerful way, but in most of these connections I am really the catalyst for things, taking part in the actions, but not part of the end result nor changed significantly by the process.

I enjoy doing what I do and being a part of this process for people. But sometimes I wonder if I'm making gains myself. Is there something I could be doing better with my own life? Am I doing enough? Should I stop and smell the roses, or should I up the ante and try to achieve more?

I guess its a question I ask myself frequently. But I tend to be a bit of an overachiever, and most people think I'm doing too much already. So the correct answer is YES I should up the ante...

I just need to find a focus...

1234Men Update

You've seen the links and things for 1234Men... I've just finished a new post there on depression. Have a look and see what you think - we're also regularly posting there, so please check it out. Any feedback is welcomed.

Summer got lost on Tuesday

27 Degrees? It's mid-winter and a foreign summer day got lost and found itself on our shores. I'm not complaining! I had half the day off. I went to the beach and used it to it's summer glory. I even jumped in the ocean blue. It was a shirtless day for much of it too. There were surfers everywhere - although not with their summer tans.

photo courtesy aussiebum

Boundless energy would best describe me Tuesday - just no end to it really. I churned up the water at squad training like there was a shark at my feet. I was at gym and, having lost Lynnette my regular gym buddy to Tasmania early in the year, I was alone again and thinking, maybe I am ready to move to somewhere else for a while. We have been contemplating this for some time... I can handle a change - something different - a challenge that makes better use of all this energy. It would be nice to have some more regular people around to do things with during the weekdays and evenings when I'm not working. But I need water, I need warmth, I need interaction with good people... But where to find that?

Mild Wednesday

Today is a rest day - so there is no official wild wednesday this week. Feel free to do everything you always do on a Wednesday. Do nothing at all, be boring, stay at home, don't look a stranger in the eye, don't buy a lover flowers, don't challenge yourself. Have lunch in your office on your own. Get a DVD of a generic movie and watch it on the couch eating your wednesday dinner. Don't do any exercise, at least nothing that pushes you at all. Going outside? Forget it, it's MILD wednesday. Nothing happens on mild wednesday.

to mac or not to mac

As a teenager when I walked past the apple shop that had the first mac I knew I wanted one. I've been a closeted graphic designer from way back and the whole graphic interface that was oh so new then, had me at hello...
Being a convincing lad, I managed to persuade my parents to buy one, telling them that because of how easy it was to use even they would use it, and everyone at home would find use for it too... Well, it didn't happen overnight - but it did happen and when I went away to university they couldn't bear to part with it. So I ended up doing all my assignments when I came home weekends... The first computer I bought myself was a mac (a Classic II, I recall) when I was in my final years at uni - I think it was so gee whiz that it had its own internal 40Mb hard drive... but it still had a black and white screen, and when I grew out of that the pc market was flooded with brilliant (and cheaper) options that took me away from the apple orchard...

But now I'm looking back. I'm contemplating a notebook pc and the windows world is rather foggy. I'm deliberating getting back to my roots and investing in an apple... there's mutterings of the new notebook mac coming about soon (if anyone knows details please let me know) I'm thinking of waiting for it and then take a byte or two. But are they worth it? Everyone I know who owns one says they're the bees knees, but I want the honey? And what's the best? The most Regal Honey? Apple blossom flavoured or the generic version I can see through my Windows?

BSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSB

Okay I had some rocky days there - but I've worked through it - thanks everyone who lent a hand. Chink in the armour repaired, but no anticorrosion guarantee... Hell, life's no fun without feasts and famines now is it?

So we got together at the usual - Lindt Cafe was just too good for us last week, and hell, I don't think enough people could hear us there. So back to the great outdoors, and the ever increasing queue at BSB in Surrey Hills. Guest star this week was Sir Richard, whose name might disappear from here if he objects to the publicity, or maybe not.

I didn't save the world this weekend, but I had a lot of fun not doing it.

The BSB crowd outvoted me to see the French film 'Inside Paris', though Sir Dick managed to avoid commitment, and I was saddened to have missed the movies I had voted for - some great new Australian movies that I wanted to see and support... (has anyone seen The Home Song Stories, or Jammed ?) And at the end of the film most wished they had not voted against me. I wanted to fall asleep in the first half - almost made it - but the second half revved up and became quite insightful and even beautiful in its dealing with humanity. The Frenchman very much enjoyed it for this reason - (and because he's French and can't help himself) but agrees that it started off poorly. The brother is quite cute by the way...

I'm going to try to get to bed earlier for a while. Emphasis on TRY, but we shall see - and maybe you can too - or maybe I'll edit the time postings so you'll never know... (yes I can do that, the wonder of technology).

There's lots in my head - so you may get to hear a lot more from me this week - beware...

Underwater Blues

One of my favourite photos from Croatia

When your best just isn't good enough

There are days when I really just feel like staying in bed all day. I guess today is one of those days. Being out here in the sticks (although technically it's more ocean, sand and trees) means that I am essentially alone at the moment anyway, so if I keep warm, it's just the same. In my head, alone. The Frenchman's at work and I don't start until a bit later in the day - and then I'm working all night too, but if it's not busy, then I'm really existing solidly in my own space again.

It's a kind of cloudy day today too. The air is cool, and it all fits the mood. At work I've had a record number of people seeing me who I've been diagnosing with major depression. Sometimes there's be weeks without anyone new with that diagnosis - but on Saturday morning alone I had about 4 or 5. But at the same time there are people I know socially who have been going through similar mood issues. Maybe it's all starting to rub off. I'm always the happy one, and that can annoy some people. When I tell them that I'm not happy, sometimes people are quite thrilled because finally I'm human! Not exactly encouraging me to share my feelings. But invariably when I do report any negativity, it just makes things worse. So today I'm blogging about it, well because I can, and I usually don't. Perhaps it's my real wild wednesday, which is characteristically outside the ordinary for me, and occurring on Thursday. Alas I was going to do all manner of things this morning - but my usual enthusiasm is gone. And nothing has been done. I'm even mid way through writing a post for 1234men on depression - but that's going to have to wait.

I know it will pass, but right now I just really don't care. Superchilled today is less super and more chilled. I feel like hitting the road and just going for a while. But there's nowhere else I want to go.

Wild Wednesday

Today's Wild Wednesday Challenge is a little out of the box. On 1234Men last week we asked everyone what was their favourite part of the male body, and there was a very wide range of answers. Today I want you (or someone you trust) to take a photograph of your favourite part of YOUR OWN BODY, and email it to me. Any part will do. Edited, cropped or any way you want it. I'll compile them and publish them in a later post. I won't publish any names unless you request it. I'm not expecting photos like the Abercrombie & Fitch one here, but if that's you - go right ahead. Feel free to tell us here as well if you like.

Email to superchilledtrevor@gmail.com

Be wild, have fun & see what you can capture.

BSB @ Lindt

'Twas a dark and stormy day...

And sitting on crates outside the regular Bourke Street Bakery wasn't quite so appealing. So to try something different we headed to the Lindt Cafe in Martin Place Sydney. I've known it's existence for some time and had always planned to get there - but never quite made it. Today was perfect for it, and so we did. Lynnette was in town and needed to be spoilt, and spoilt we were! The hot chocolate was decadent, as was everything, I mean we even had linen table cloths, fine cutlery and even crockery, none of which are a specialty of BSB. The menu consisted of columns of delicious desserts. Not great for one's waistline, but god it's good. Melt in your mouth Heaven.

Here I am below on the very wet street after we spent some time at the Argyle hotel (above) - see more about that at 1234men - I'm wet in the photo - but we were saturated by the time we got to our cars. Thankfully I had towels, we really needed them!

Aussie Export

Checking out the Aussiebum website, as one does from time to time, I discovered the photos of the ad campaign over in NYC. And it just seems a bit odd. I guess I'm not used to seeing Australian branded goods internationally, and on the roofs of the iconic NYC Taxi it seems really quite a step. I like it. It makes me think that if you want to make something happen, you can. And sometimes you've just got to get out and do it. Sure it's not saving the world, but creating a new brand in a brand saturated world is quite a feat. The whole branding is quite bold, the men no less than gorgeous, and there's a decided sense of fun in it all, (if you haven't seen the recent aussiebum video, you really haven't lived). If we can have Levis and Calvin Kleins all over the world, there's room on a few taxi's for Aussiebums too.

But what brand am I going to create and push to world no. 1?
Or should more humanitarian goals be my focus?
Or perhaps a blend of the two...?

Something to ponder on a lazy Sunday.

Race Around the World - Stop 18

The Superchilled Race Around the World continues. Last stop found us in Berlin being ambushed by local women, as correctly identified by Brenton who it seems does get out. But where have we stopped this time? And where have all the people gone?

The winners are the first to identify the location correctly and the most creative answer...

The Race starts NOW.

A&F Beach Boy ad

Here's a pleasantly distracting ad break
39seconds

Wild Wednesday

It's time to get out of your depth, do something that you always thought was too hard. You can either say yes to something you'd normally say no to, or seek something that you've always baulked at for fear of failure, and embrace it. It could be asking for raise at work, taking on a particular responsibility, maybe something physical. Whatever it is, make it a sink or swim moment, and you might just surprise yourself at your abilities! Then, come next wild wednesday, it won't be scary any more.

Wild Wednesdays, scare yourself a little, grow a lot more.

swim squad

Swim squad Tuesday Night

-it was high intensity-

This is what we did...
Warm up: 1km freestyle with fins: 50m easy 50m hard 100m easy 100m hard 200m easy 200m hard, and then back down again, that was 1km.
8x50m 1/2 butterfly, 1/2 freestyle with each 50m on 50seconds
Main Set: 8x50m freestyle with bands on (ie around your ankles so you can't kick) it's sink or swim , these were again every 50seconds followed immediately by 400m intense freestyle, and this 800m set was repeated for a total of 3 times.
Warm down: 8x75m freestyle variable pace and 200m cool off.
All up 4.6km - I was completely exhausted, but feeling fantastic... and then I went to gym.

1234Men Now Online

It's a team blog we're building and hopefully will be a lot for fun, and not just for us.

Have a look and let me know what you think.

You can click the flash image above to link there - otherwise use http://1234men.blogspot.com

A Liberal push for Gay equality?

It seems the world is square, pigs do fly, and the Australian Federal Liberal Party (well, one member of it at least) is pushing for equality!! See the Sydney Morning Herald article here.

all at once

I'm not one for free advertising, but this image has a number of reasons for being here today.
1. Jonathan Rhys Meyers, enough said.
2. This is in fact my 'signature fragrance' which to me really means it is the only scent I have reliably liked for a long time - first brought to my attention by a very cute scandinavian friend who used to wear it... I liked it (and him) - and have ever since worn it. I have tried to broaden my senses, with no other fragrance able to usurp good old Hugo, and now I have one of these bottles in the sports bag that goes everywhere with me and one that stays at home.
3. There is so much going on in this image, it's kinda like what's happening in my head most of the time, so many things, and at such a pace that the day has too little time in it to make it all happen, but I do try - which is one of the reasons for the time of this, and most of my blog posts...
4. Jonathan Rhys Meyers, did I say that already? well, with good reason.

Stand By Your Man - Commercial

Cute Commercial - found at Lavi's blog. 1min 31sec

Writing in the Air

I'm now in possession of a dictaphone, so that my new secretary can type up my letters when I see my palliative care patients. I have been writing my own for the past 9 years or so, and the whole idea of writing a letter in my head is quite foreign. I'm visualising my previous letters as a template in my head, and speaking them out with the new details as appropriate, but my written communication is much more concise than my spoken word it would seem by the letters I've been proofing today... new paragraph

It will free up time to see more patients P - A - T - I - E - N - T - S though comma which is really the most rewarding part of the job stop It's just kinda odd comma but I'll get used to it stop end of post

Superchilled at work...

Things I did at work today...

Glued a boy’s eyebrow back together after his mum kindly opened a car door in his face…

Stuck needles in so many people I can’t recall the exact number. I do recall was a 4year old who sat there and took it like a man, I was impressed. He didn’t flinch. Even with the second needle.

Made a baby vomit by using a tongue depressor rather brutally, thankfully my chair has wheels and I fast reflexes. Mum wasn’t so lucky…

Gave morphine orders for a patient who is dying.

Followed up a very cute, bright and tall patient who has a chronic head injury following playing football. Dreamy.
If only he could remember…

Tried to get a history out of a man who had just finished nightshift, about his son who was handed to him when he got home from work. I ended up calling the mum.

Saw one of my favourite patients who is an eternally travelling entymologist, and discussed his recent trip to Africa.

Counselled a couple who both suffer from marked depression about ongoing medication.

Removed the last traces of pus from a facial infection on a teenage girl, you should have seen it YESTERDAY eeek… Poor girl.

There was more of course - but that's enough for today.

Passionate Wild Wednesday

We've had all manner of challenges on wild wednesday, and the focus has been more on doing things that scare you and challenge you. But today I'm throwing caution to the wind and promoting a wild wednesday of passion! That's right - be passionate about things today - in all kinds of ways - throw yourself into things you love, be that men, art, sport, food... or all of it at once, just go for it. The wilder and sexier the better, and read the post 'talking sex' if you have any concerns about letting us know how it went for you. Life's too short to not go wild from time to time, be safe of course, but go wild in every other way. If we can't hear you screaming in pleasure, you're not being passionate enough!!

Gardening

I'm heading to my friendly local nursery man to buy me the plant that sprouts these flowers. Imagine the arrangements one could create! The garden parties!
Bring on Spring!!!

1234Men Launches August 14

Vigeland Park

A park filled with beautiful naked people all year round?

Is it possible?

In Norway, anything is possible, and in the capital Oslo, lies Vigeland Park. I first came across it one bright snowy December night, when my Norwegian friends took me for a walk... I may have been a medical student there, but this night I was a kid in a lolly shop... snow balls hit everyone - and my god the men were just stunning - you could climb all over them without objection! A homoerotic dream. Of course it is a sculpture park, but the sculptures are larger than life and very tactile. The theme is the cycle of life, and I never tire of the gorgeous granite men, in various poses throughout the gardens. Of course there are more than just men, but I think you know where my attention is focused. I'm thinking it deserves a posting or two of its own - but here is an introduction. Perhaps I'll post more in 1234Men, our team blog soon to be launched...

Race Around the World - Location 17

Leg 17: Where am I? And who are these women?

In leg 16 of Superchilled Race Around the World, we ended up at the Hilton Hotel in Auckland, New Zealand, as correctly identified by Peter von Amsterdam. There were a few tackles at what we could identify in the swimming pool at that same hotel (see here), and while I liked a lot of the entries, especially where there was sex involved, 'Cloning the perfect boy' was not quite what I expected and wins the most creative prize for Sue.

Back to the photo above - and can you elaborate on what's happening here, and where... ?

The race starts... NOW.

Antisocial?

I was catching up with friends today, a hot chocolate in the afternoon sun by Sydney harbour. Stunning it was. Unusually for The Frenchman and I, we were early, so we had the chance to just absorb the rays, watch the sun glistening around the harbour and order from the overpriced menu. We hadn't seen our friends since before our European holiday and were keen to catch up.

They arrived later than planned a little embarrassed - but we didn't care - and asked about our trip. I asked if they had seen our travel blog (linked above) with all the details, to which they responded a little embarrassed, 'some of it... '. I joked that they should have done their research prior to catching up! And defensively one of our friends objected that the net is impairing communication, and personal interaction... kids are growing up with inadequate interpersonal communication... (I probably glazed over about here)... and that we were there at that moment to in fact divulge those details...

Maybe I hit a nerve, but I regarded the travel blog as a personalised series of postcards, that could perhaps stimulate more conversation - and felt a little affronted at the remarks made. While I challenged his assertions, I didn't really pursue it with much gusto. We could in fact discuss out holiday in more detail, and I wasn't in the mood to discuss the pros and cons of electronic communication as he and I have distinctly different points of view and are similarly stubborn with them. As it turned out, we were diverted to other topics reasonably quickly - and the holiday fell by the wayside.

I still much prefer one on one communication live and in the same location - but I find the net a particularly good way of learning things about people and the human condition that I might not otherwise know. Living out here in the sticks - I often don't get to see friends on a daily basis so the net helps me keep in touch. Blogging of course is great for that as those of us who write and interact in them will know. Am I becoming a less social person? I don't think so. But stubborn as I am - maybe I'm wrong?

Saturday Things I Love in Winter

• Dozing in and out of consciousness in a warm bed snuggling with The Frenchman when it's FREEZING outside


• Not having to work


• Lazy catch ups with friends in uninhibited spaces


• Swimming


• Wandering up and down Oxford St Paddington shopping and watching the often cute crowds


• Reading bits and pieces of the huge Saturday paper in no particular order


• Random movies or galleries or unexpected meetings


• Tomorrow is Sunday - and I can do the same again if I want to.

Talking Sex

Do you contact your friends the moment you've exited a sex scene and tell them of success/disappointment, grandness/petiteness, the rating of his kissing prowess, the overall raunch, or failure to launch? Or do you keep it to yourself or reveal it in stages, and in the right places?

When I first entered the gay scene it seemed all everyone talked about was sex. And in detail, explicit detail. While sometimes that was quite a lot of fun, it seemed to me that it brought the whole thing of sex and people and relationships into a commodity. People became rated according to their varying sexual capacities, performance, and size. A thing of numbers and stats. But where I came from - one didn't speak of such things - in fact - one didn't speak about sex at all. So early on The Frenchman and I decided that we didn't want to talk about sex so openly. We wanted to keep something for 'just us'.

Talking about sex though, is something that can be quite liberating, and at times a lot of fun. Discussion with close friends about such things can certainly strengthen relationships and break down barriers that we've held up for so long. But how much is too much? What should we keep to ourselves? And what do our sexual partners expect of us on these matters?

Wild Wednesday

Things aren't always as they seem... Today's Wild Wednesday objective is to do something that isn't expected of you. Something that's a little outside the 'you' that everyone including yourself knows. You could talk a lot when you don't normally talk at all, or perhaps the reverse. You could come out at work, or to a friend (see my guide to coming out). Do something crazy (or unexpectedly sane!), just don't be yourself. See if you can get people talking. If it all goes pear shaped - just blame me and Wild Wednesdays. (but be sure to tell us what happened)

Got a previous wild wednesday experience? Let us know how it went!

Tuesday - Coalcliff

The colours at the beach were stunning today.

Austinmer Beach - Sunday

A bit chilly for my liking... Was nice in the sun though...